Tagged: priest

What do you think about during Mass?

I went to Mass yesterday morning (Wednesday) and here are a few of the million things that passed through my head:

  • I wonder where that guy I saw yesterday is sitting. (Shift body angle to look around)
  • Who is sitting behind me? He was an accent or something going on.
  • I hope the priest kneels when he gets the already consecrated Body of Christ… oh good. he did. I hate when they don’t do that.
  • Where do all these old women buy their coats?
  • I should have brought my Rosary.
  • Yes, I’m definitely going grocery shopping this afternoon. And I need a new can opener.
  • And lighters. And some candles. I love candles.
  • Did I turn the heat down before I left my apartment?
  • I wonder how long my cat is going to be clingy at the new place.
  • Don’t think about him (as I think about my ex-boyfriend).
  • It’s like I want to date an old man or something (because I want someone who is financially responsible and courteous).
  • My grandpa is a great man.
  • I forgot to send my grandma a birthday card! Yikes! Today is her birthday!
  • I really want to bake some bread (part of my 28 in 28 list) today… but I’m on that diet.
  • What are these clip things for on the back of the pews?
I don’t even think that’s it.
I know I was thinking about one of my coworkers during the homily.
Do you do that? Get so far off topic that you don’t even know how you got there?
Any suggestions for re-focusing myself during Mass? I know I have to re-orientate myself to daily Mass and let go of distractions, and that it’s a great exercise for me spiritually.
But… I want to focus now!
I picked up another prayer card with the Memorare on it. Oh, Mother Mary, pray for me.
God bless!
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Dream a little dream

I’ve had two dreams about dying the past two nights.

It’s absolutely frightening, especially because I am “living in sin” and though I practice most tenets of the faith, I don’t practice them all.
Jesus is either Lord of everything or Lord of nothing.
Right now, it makes me cry, but he is not Lord of my everything.
On Tuesday night, I dreamed that I was in a car accident, that no one was there. Or that someone was there and he wouldn’t call a priest. I couldn’t convey on him the importance of me having a priest. I couldn’t beg him to say any prayers over me.
I died.
I woke up.
Last night, I dreamed there were two semis. They hit. Crashed.
(This was in a paper I read online, so I know where I got the image.)
I was in the flames. Again, there was no one or there was no one that would help me.
I can contemplate what these dreams mean, it’s not difficult to figure out.
I pray before I  go to bed. I ask Jesus for mercy, for strength, for patience with me.
My own conscious is telling me that the Lord, while he is merciful and kind, is jealous. Our God is a jealous god.
We shall have no other gods before him, and when we do (when I do, right now), he is angry.
I don’t know if my dreams are divinely inspired or just my own self telling me I need to change.
It doesn’t matter.
I know what I need to do. I’ve known it for years.
But… I can’t won’t. I won’t change my ways because I am weak. Because I don’t think Jesus’ love is enough for me, though I KNOW that it is.
He died on the cross for me. He rose for me.
I’m at work writing this, thinking about my dreams and how I rarely have vivid dreams because I so frequently wake during the night for water or the bathroom or both.
I start to think that these dreams are premonitions. And do I really believe in that?
I don’t know.
I do know that when I’m at the Mass of the Lord’s Supper tonight, I will be praying. Praying and listening.
And not thinking about how I wish people didn’t dress like that in church. How that old woman reading the bulletin is a bad habit.
I won’t be thinking those things, like I usually do.
I will just be praying that Jesus can wait.
AH. No. I will be praying that I can change, and fast. That I can stop, and learn deep in my heart what I know in my head: Jesus is enough. He’s everything.
I can type it. I can think it. I can read it. I can hear it. A million times.
And still, the same sins hit me like a shovel.
God bless.

Steeple Chase

Lenten retreat

I think I mentioned this steeple chase last week… during the quick takes? Maybe.

Anyway, here are some shaky, unedited photos from some of the churches we went to. I hope I have them labeled correctly. It was kind of a whirlwind event.

St. Josephat. Oh look. My finger. Oops.

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The beauty and the scale and the height… so much to take in. It was amazing. There were FOUR side altars! Four!!

And check out those stations of the Cross… in Latin!

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Here’s another photo of the ceiling. See what I was trying to say before.

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The detail and passion of the craftsmen are obvious in the work. Beautiful.

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And a simple cross outside the main church. Still beautiful.

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Oh, and this is a blessing from John Paul I. Yes, one. Awesome.

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From the School Sisters of St. Francis’ St. Joseph Chapel:

Again with the wonderful open space.

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SSFS chapel edit

Our priestly tour guide said he used to pray while watching this statue when he was in the seminary.

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The Adoration altar.

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The most important part, the center…

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From the relics chapel:

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Hundreds of relics… labeled in Latin. So beautiful.

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Then we went to the Cathedral… and I took two dark photos. Sorry.

Then we went to the St. Joan of Arc chapel at Marquette. Beautiful and quiet and peaceful. And I didn’t take any pictures because we had the most wonderful Mass I’ve been to in a long time.

If you get the chance to do one of these… do it. Just do it. Or go around to the churches in one of your bigger cities. So wonderful.

God bless.

Great days

I used to have really high

expectations of what a great day was. Sleep in, have a cup of awesome coffee, watch the news, take a long bath. Those kind of things.

Today, is not one of those days, not filled with those kind of things, but it’s a great day, none the less.

I’m going to spend most of it writing, a lot of it reading, catching up on all the blogs I follow (I still have posts from Jan. 11 to read!). It’ll be one of those catch-up days. But at the same time, I’ll be behind at work when I go back tomorrow. It’s not exactly a win-win, but it’s close. I can handle the work catch-up, if I have my other stuff caught up. If you get what I’m saying.

Year of Faith update

My original goals, from Oct. 11:

Attend adoration (1 hour)/attend benediction once a month

TODAY: up to date, 1 hour for October, November, December and January

Attend Mass at a new Parish/Church once a month (somewhere I haven’t been yet)

TODAY: up to date, St. Andrew’s, St. Paul’s, St. Francis de Sales and St. Charles Borromeo

Read the entire Catechism of the Catholic Church

TODAY: up to date, today’s 112 in the year of faith, can you believe it?

Read six (more if I can) books on Church History, including saints, popes, council documents, papal documents, etc. These should be published with at least an imprimatur. I’m really interested in more on the Crusades

TODAY: slacking on this a little bit, I have read Scott Hahn’s A Father who Keeps his Promises and am working on Pope Benedict’s Infancy Narratives. I’m going slow with this one.

 

So, yes, I went to St. Charles on Saturday for the vigil Mass. Interesting.

Everyone was rushing, rushing, rushing. Even the priest! And after I resolved for 2013 to NEVER RUSH, it was even more frustrating for me.

I’m also working on my patience, though.

But during Mass, I like reverence, a proper pace, attention, incense. I may make my next “new church” service in my goals an extraordinary rite. At least those go at a good pace.

The closest one to me is not even close to me at all, though.

I also don’t like Saturday night Masses. Because are we just going so we don’t have to get up early on Sunday? Indeed, that was the case with me this weekend. I didn’t want to get up that much earlier to drive out to St. Charles. Lazy, Catholic.

I gave the Knights of Columbus Lifesaver guy $5. He offered me change. No, thanks. This made me smile. They’re collecting for pregnancy resource centers around my area. I tell you what, if I was a man, I would be in the KofC, no contest. I love what they do.

God bless. Have a great day everyday!

A Mass without a Priest

I almost started this post with a cliche.

How horrible.
 
Maybe it’s even more cliche to say I was going to use a cliche. Perhaps.
 
Last week Wednesday, went I went to daily Mass again, the priest didn’t show up.
Ironic? I don’t know if that’s the right word.
I wanted so badly to go back to Mass. I wanted all those things I wrote about in my list of reasons to go to daily Mass.
At first, I was angry.
How can he not show up? It’s his job. He lives right next door. All the school kids are waiting on him.
 
Then I realized that it too could be a lesson for me.
A lesson in patience and appreciation. A time for reflection and quiet.
I was still with Christ. He was there, just inside the tabernacle. Just  behind the altar.
It’s good to have that time to just be with Christ. Just to sit and not think (this is hard!).
I try to go to adoration once a month (I’m running out of time in January for this).
But during adoration, there are prayers and requests and tears sometimes.
There’s the Divine Mercy Chaplet and petitions.
 
Those are all good things.
 
But sometimes, it’s important to just be with the Lord.
Really just sit and be.
 
Not to relax. Oh, no. You’re in the presence of the King!
But now that you’re safe. You’re in his arms.
To realize that he’s with us no matter what.
 
He’s not the one that turns away.
We are.
 
He’s not the one who lies, cheats and disobeys.
We are.
 
Living in Christ means a freedom to love without being hurt, trust without falling and living without fear.
Christ is that freedom.
 
It took me a Mass without a priest to realize this, and I’ll thank him for it someday.
 
God Bless.