I struggled with how to title this post.
It’s hard to see if a line has been crossed or not. We want our co-workers to respect us and value our opinions, but we don’t want to flirt with them. Or them with us.
Here are five signs that your relationship has crossed the line:
1. You have long talks alone with this person.
If you’re the only two people in your office or workplace, OK. But, if you hold off on having conversations until everyone else is out of the office, you may be crossing the line.
Workplace conversations are touchy. Some of them are just with your boss, some are just with your “peers.”
Some should be open for everyone.
Try to figure out which conversations are which, and don’t spend hours talking to the same person every day.
2. You get excited when you see this person’s car in the parking lot.
This is weird. Don’t change your mood because someone is at work or not. You should like your co-workers and your boss, but you shouldn’t be excited to see them at work.
You’re professionals working together. You aren’t friends visiting a frat house, excited to see a guy’s motorcycle parked outside.
3. You ask for advice from this person.
It’s OK to get advice from people, but you shouldn’t be sharing personal things with someone in a professional relationship with you.
You have girl friends and guy friends and parents to bounce relationship questions off of, not your co-workers, especially not in a one-on-one session.
If your boss is much older than you, that might be the place to go if you don’t have someone else.
Don’t solicit advice from someone who isn’t appropriate to give it. (Ever think of asking your priest instead?)
4. You text.
Don’t, please don’t text.
Don’t text. Texting is for friends. Call instead. Just call. Or send an email from your phone. Don’t text.
Texting is for friends (like I just said!). Texting language is informal, casual language and that’s not how you speak to your co-workers.
5. You don’t feel comfortable around this person.
You would think it would be the opposite, right? That you’re too comfortable? Both are true, but being uncomfortable when you really think about how the relationship is progressing is a sign.
Listen to your gut. It’s saying, don’t hang out with this guy. Don’t walk over to his car and talk.
It’s saying, keep professional relationships professional.
Don’t push those signs away. It could be your guardian angel trying to pull you away from a bad situation.
Pray about it. If you have any thought, any thought at all, that this relationship might not be professional, pray about it. Ask a priest for guidance. Talk to your boss about it.
There is something about a new, fresh warm cup of coffee.
So, coffee is in cup. What’s next?
I have 96 days left in the Army Reserve.
Yes, that’s right. I’m almost done. I’ve been counting since it was 365 days.
It’s kind of a big deal.
I remember when I left for basic training.
I wasn’t afraid of the running, the shooting, the danger.
I was worried about the unknown. Would I find some friends? Someone to talk to? Would I be able to do what they expected me to? Would I be able to do it without crying?
I didn’t know what I was getting into. I admit that, now. I wasn’t really prepared.
I don’t think you can be prepared for something like that.
Life isn’t about preparing for every possible outcome or experience. It’s about going through with strength even when something surprises you.
For example, the first time I shot a gun, any kind of gun, was my 21st birthday. No one knew, except my battle buddy, that it was my birthday. No one knew and so someone that didn’t like me, she threatened me. I still remember what she said.
“I’ll cut you.”
What a crazy, ridiculous thing to say to someone, regardless of the situation. “I’ll cut you.”
She was one of those crazy-brave women. You know the kind I mean. She had this rough, abrasive exterior, but I think it stemmed from something that hurt her.
I was crying the first time I shoot my rifle.
I was crying when my drill sergeant came back from the target and said, “You’re a pretty good shot. You did really well.”
Then, I wasn’t crying anymore.
How can you possibly prepare for something like that?
There just isn’t a way to know that on the day you turn 21 you’ll be threatened by a crazy woman (I mean crazy here in the sense that she didn’t realize how much she could hurt someone) and then called a good shot the first time you put a real round through the chamber of an M16.
So, how do we live? How do we go through life, knowing that we aren’t going to know?
I recently got Angels Explained, a talk by Mark Miravalle. It’s amazing.
He strongly suggested we talk to our guardian angels. Did you know that your guardian angel was created with all the other angels at the beginning of time and he/she has been waiting for you?
Our guardian angels love us. And the more we talk to them, ask for their help, the more they can help, Miravalle said.
So I am trying to start praying that simple like “Angel of God” prayer. It’s beautiful and quick, and Miravalle said it works.
In between the dishes, the laundry, the vacuuming, the wiping, scooping, writing, reading, watching… you know. In between those things, I try to talk to my guardian angel.
It’s weird. I’ll admit that. It’s crazy (in another sense of the word).
I ask him/her to pray for me. I ask him/her to intercede for me. All the ways that I plead with the Blessed Virgin, I do that with my guardian angel.
And I ask for his advice (again, like Mary). I ask for patience. I ask for him to pray for me when I can’t pray, when I don’t know how to pray, when I don’t know what to ask for.
And it works.
From the Catechism of the Catholic Church:
862 “Just as the office which the Lord confided to Peter alone, as first of the apostles, destined to be transmitted to his successors, is a permanent one, so also endures the office, which the apostles received, of shepherding the Church, a charge destined to be exercised without interruption by the sacred order of bishops.” Hence the Church teaches that “the bishops have by divine institution taken the place of the apostles as pastors of the Church, in such wise that whoever listens to them is listening to Christ and whoever despises them despises Christ and him who sent Christ.”
Do you ever hear those people… those of other faiths say that the Apostolic age ended with the Apostles?
Well, 862 is just a smidge of Church teaching about it.
Also endures the office, which the apostles received, of shepherding the Church, a charge destined to be exercised WITHOUT INTERRUPTION by the sacred order of bishops.
And so, the Church with the help of the Holy Spirit will find the next Bishop to lead our Church. We’ll continue that tradition without interruption. How beautifully put.
It’s come to that point, at work, that I realize some people think I take my faith lightly by the way I talk about it. I wish that wasn’t the case.
Often to make it accessible, I joke about it, lightly. I shouldn’t. My faith is serious, and strong, though not as strong as I’d like it to be.
My coworkers seem to think Lent is this… joke.
I have a CRS Rice Bowl at my desk. There’s some money in it. They’ve seen me put money into it. So, why the jokes? Why do they laugh when I ask the fellow Catholics what they’ve given up for Lent? Nothing, both of them, nothing.
I pray often that God uses me as an example for others, for my boyfriend, for my family, for my friends. I need to add coworkers to that list as well.