Tagged: dreams

Organizing my whole life

I think… nope, I know, that I’ve written about my obsessive list-making habit.

But while lists get me going and keep me going, I have found I have a few too many goal lists.

Here’s a run-down of my current goal lists:
The 28 by 28
The 12 Week Year
Diet reward point system
Daily goals
Running training program
Returning slowly to the Slow Carb Diet

So, for example, I’ll take the 12 Week Year (you already know about the 28 by 28).

The 12 Week Year is a great book I read about GETTING THINGS DONE. Consistently. Setting bench marks and DOING STUFF.
I loved the book. The general idea, and really you should just go check out the book, is that instead of focusing on making annual goals (who can see that far into the future?) make 12 week goals… and call it a year.
So every three months, it’s a year-end review. How did you do, honestly?
At the beginning of March, I started a 12 week year again, with two goals:
     1. Read six nonfiction books.
     2. Finish the knit labyrinth circle rug.
Then I broke down each of these goals into micro-steps. Sometimes it was ridiculously tiny steps. (Finish the current yarn ball, buy filler cord, buy clear thread, buy yarn needle…)
The books I just wrote down which I had read… and I knew I needed to average about one book for each two weeks. So far so good on that.
Another example? OK.

Daily goals…

In January, the goal was 100 push ups a day. In February it was sit ups.
In March it was lunges. This month it’s tricep dips.
So with all of those things floating around in my head and on my dining room table… I’m trying to find a way that organizes ALL OF THESE THINGS into one system.
I’m looking for suggestions.

But here’s my idea so far:

EVERNOTE. Evernote used to be my best friend. It kind of faded out, but now it’s my best friend again. It’s nice to have it around.
     Unfortunately, my phone isn’t the best for typing on and I don’t have a computer at home, but Evernote gets things recorded for me at least.
ONE SYSTEM TO RULE THEM ALL. I want EVERYTHING on one sheet of paper. Two at most. I can always make a back-to-back copy or something.
How can I have check mark boxes for some goals, lines for items I need to list and a rewards area to keep me motivated?
I want this one (maybe two) page thing to last for at least a month.

This system won’t be:

-a daily scheduler or calendar (my calendar will be based off of my goals)
-something I carry around with me everywhere (I wanted a printed system to hang on my fridge or near the door or on my mirror or all of those places to keep my goals on the top of my mind… Evernote can be my carry along tracking system)
-something I share with everyone (a lot of my goals (everyone’s goals) are incredibly personal and private, this isn’t something I want my coworkers to find)
-a way to put myself down (any progress is good progress, and I really believe that)
OK. If anyone has designs they’ve seen for something similar or suggestions on how I can make my own, let me know.
I’m heading over to InDesign right now to start laying out something for it.
Actually, scratch that. I’m going to sketch it out first. My mind works faster than my mouse skills in InDesign.
God bless! Stay organized.
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28 by 28 update: pray outside an abortion clinic

March 9.

I know this review post is coming in late, but I think I needed time to think about how it went.

40 Days for Life

First of all, when I made my 28 by 28 list, I checked in with 40 Days for Life. They do awesome work with the prayer vigils, and I thought it was a good place to start.
Originally, I intended to go to Latin Mass (also on my list) before showing up for the prayer vigil, but I realized I wouldn’t make it there in time.
So I went to the Saturday vigil Mass and then showed up at 9 on Sunday morning for the prayers.
I was expecting people to be there for the hour before mine. Nope. No one was there.
And no one showed up afterwards to take over, either.
So I was there, by myself, outside this clinic. Which was closed, of course. I guess business is too slow on a Sunday morning, even for them.
On the window was a sign “40 Days of Prayer for Choice.”
Wow.
That just makes me angry and sad at the same time. The sign was sun-bleached and… I don’t even know what it was.
Wait, yes I do. It was stupid.
Read this post at Patheos about the whole idea.
I should also add that it was freezing. We’ve had this abnormal cold winter here in Wisconsin, and it was early. I think it was cloudy, so I didn’t even get a lot of sunshine.
I thought that was just though. I was in a sad, sad place.
Affiliated Medical Services in Milwaukee.
So I prayed. First a Rosary. Then a Divine Mercy Chaplet. Then another Chaplet. Then a Rosary, and I dedicated a single ‘Hail Mary’ to each of the women in my life. That was actually really beautiful. I should do that more often (think of people when I pray!).
Only a few people walked by me, and no one said anything to me. It was clear, I think, what I was doing, but who knows?
Some people don’t know… which is so hard to me to think about because it’s a huge part of my life. I think about “the cause” probably every day.
But some people aren’t “political” or into current events. I find that more and more often now. It’s sad. I mean, you’re not into current events? You don’t watch, read or listen to any sort of news source?
Yikes.

I would like to say that I walked away from the clinic after a hour a more thoughtful and prayerful person.

I don’t think that really happened. I was happy to get into my car and turn on the heat. Happy to get away from what is not the greatest neighborhood in Milwaukee.

Even though I know prayers aren’t ever wasted… I feel like I didn’t help anyone. Yet, I guess I’ll never really know if my prayers helped anyone.
I feel like my donations to Pro Life Wisconsin are better served… or if there were a group of us there, during business hours of the clinic…
I don’t know.
All I know is that I did it. It’s checked off my list. And I’m glad I did it. But next time, I’ll do it differently.
That’s for the next list.
During the past month, already, I’ve had this secondary bucket list building… by the time my birthday rolls around, I won’t have to think very hard about my 29 by 29 list.
So far, off the top of my head, I know I need to put these on the list:
1. go skiing
2. pray with a group outside an abortion clinic
3. attend a whole Brewers-Cubs series at Miller Park (that’s only 3 games, shouldn’t be a big deal, right?)
I think I have more written down somewhere…. you know how those list goes.
All the best.
Hope you’re working on your goals and dreams, too.

Quick Takes Friday (on lists)

— 1 — 

I have been a list maker since I can remember. I love all kinds of lists: grocery lists, to-do lists, wish lists, bucket lists, goals,  benchmarks, ideas.
I even love outlines.
Remember in high school when you had to “brainstorm” your essays before writing them? Yeah, I was the nerd who always used an outline instead of a thought bubble matrix.
Recently, as you know, I started my 28 by 28 list.
My longest list, by far, though, is my to-read list. Once I found the Good Reads app and website, I thought I’d cruise through my list finally. Not even close.
I just keep adding… and usually when I go to the library, I get something that wasn’t even on my list.

— 2 —

The same with Evernote… I use Evernote for everything… and then I start cleaning out some of my notebooks.
Oh, look, a grocery list from October.
Oh, look, a to-do list for the weekend I never finished.
I hate finding lists like that.
Or my goal charts that never happened.

— 3 —

Yep, I’m still obsessive about the lists.
I have a running list on my fridge for the 10k coming up in May. I am so excited about it, but it’s almost stressing me out seeing in on the fridge.
I also have a list of things I decided I wanted to do when I moved to my new place… it’s pinned up right next to my calendar at home… I’m only doing a few of those things.

— 4 —

Now I have the 28 by 28 list… and seeing those past two items, I’m worried I won’t complete it either.
And part of me says, that’s OK, it’s the journey not the destination.
But I don’t want to give up. These are all things I really actually want to do.
I don’t want to forget about them… but I also don’t want to stress about them.
Ugh…

— 5 —

I think a budget is considered a list, too, right?
Well, I have that as well. I’m a huge Dave Ramsey fan and am in my debt snowball, while trying to save money for a car.
It’s hard because I know my car is falling apart (underneath me), but I want my student loan debt gone.
Since I’ve gotten serious about paying those off, it’s been really great to see the number come down… but I’d like to feel better about having a car savings account built up.
I imagine I’ll need about $8,000 for a car (I’d like to move up from the car I have). The one I have now cost me about $6,000… six years ago. Wow I can’t believe it’s been that long.
The car is old too… from 1999. They don’t even make Pontiacs anymore!
Oh boy. So when I look at my budget, and my debt snowball, I just feel out of control.
A list is supposed to make you feel in control.

— 6 —

Thankfully, I’ll be able to start riding my bike or walking to work as it warms up (ie: quits snowing and stays lighter longer at night).
That will help extend the life of my car… AND save me money. Bonus.

— 7 —

I tried really hard to keep this whole quick takes post about one topic… it kind… of… worked.
OK, it didn’t.
If you’re curious, this is the running schedule I’m doing, these are my 28 goals for the year and these are some great kitten videos.
TODAY AND TOMORROW IS EAGLE DAY!!!! I CAN’T WAIT TO BRING BACK PHOTOS FOR YA’LL.
 

Have a great weekend!
God bless.

Read posts from lovely lady bloggers at Conversion Diary!

Dream a little dream

I’ve had two dreams about dying the past two nights.

It’s absolutely frightening, especially because I am “living in sin” and though I practice most tenets of the faith, I don’t practice them all.
Jesus is either Lord of everything or Lord of nothing.
Right now, it makes me cry, but he is not Lord of my everything.
On Tuesday night, I dreamed that I was in a car accident, that no one was there. Or that someone was there and he wouldn’t call a priest. I couldn’t convey on him the importance of me having a priest. I couldn’t beg him to say any prayers over me.
I died.
I woke up.
Last night, I dreamed there were two semis. They hit. Crashed.
(This was in a paper I read online, so I know where I got the image.)
I was in the flames. Again, there was no one or there was no one that would help me.
I can contemplate what these dreams mean, it’s not difficult to figure out.
I pray before I  go to bed. I ask Jesus for mercy, for strength, for patience with me.
My own conscious is telling me that the Lord, while he is merciful and kind, is jealous. Our God is a jealous god.
We shall have no other gods before him, and when we do (when I do, right now), he is angry.
I don’t know if my dreams are divinely inspired or just my own self telling me I need to change.
It doesn’t matter.
I know what I need to do. I’ve known it for years.
But… I can’t won’t. I won’t change my ways because I am weak. Because I don’t think Jesus’ love is enough for me, though I KNOW that it is.
He died on the cross for me. He rose for me.
I’m at work writing this, thinking about my dreams and how I rarely have vivid dreams because I so frequently wake during the night for water or the bathroom or both.
I start to think that these dreams are premonitions. And do I really believe in that?
I don’t know.
I do know that when I’m at the Mass of the Lord’s Supper tonight, I will be praying. Praying and listening.
And not thinking about how I wish people didn’t dress like that in church. How that old woman reading the bulletin is a bad habit.
I won’t be thinking those things, like I usually do.
I will just be praying that Jesus can wait.
AH. No. I will be praying that I can change, and fast. That I can stop, and learn deep in my heart what I know in my head: Jesus is enough. He’s everything.
I can type it. I can think it. I can read it. I can hear it. A million times.
And still, the same sins hit me like a shovel.
God bless.