I have 96 days left in the Army Reserve.
Yes, that’s right. I’m almost done. I’ve been counting since it was 365 days.
It’s kind of a big deal.
I remember when I left for basic training.
I wasn’t afraid of the running, the shooting, the danger.
I was worried about the unknown. Would I find some friends? Someone to talk to? Would I be able to do what they expected me to? Would I be able to do it without crying?
I didn’t know what I was getting into. I admit that, now. I wasn’t really prepared.
I don’t think you can be prepared for something like that.
Life isn’t about preparing for every possible outcome or experience. It’s about going through with strength even when something surprises you.
For example, the first time I shot a gun, any kind of gun, was my 21st birthday. No one knew, except my battle buddy, that it was my birthday. No one knew and so someone that didn’t like me, she threatened me. I still remember what she said.
“I’ll cut you.”
What a crazy, ridiculous thing to say to someone, regardless of the situation. “I’ll cut you.”
She was one of those crazy-brave women. You know the kind I mean. She had this rough, abrasive exterior, but I think it stemmed from something that hurt her.
I was crying the first time I shoot my rifle.
I was crying when my drill sergeant came back from the target and said, “You’re a pretty good shot. You did really well.”
Then, I wasn’t crying anymore.
How can you possibly prepare for something like that?
There just isn’t a way to know that on the day you turn 21 you’ll be threatened by a crazy woman (I mean crazy here in the sense that she didn’t realize how much she could hurt someone) and then called a good shot the first time you put a real round through the chamber of an M16.
So, how do we live? How do we go through life, knowing that we aren’t going to know?
I recently got Angels Explained, a talk by Mark Miravalle. It’s amazing.
He strongly suggested we talk to our guardian angels. Did you know that your guardian angel was created with all the other angels at the beginning of time and he/she has been waiting for you?
Our guardian angels love us. And the more we talk to them, ask for their help, the more they can help, Miravalle said.
So I am trying to start praying that simple like “Angel of God” prayer. It’s beautiful and quick, and Miravalle said it works.
In between the dishes, the laundry, the vacuuming, the wiping, scooping, writing, reading, watching… you know. In between those things, I try to talk to my guardian angel.
It’s weird. I’ll admit that. It’s crazy (in another sense of the word).
I ask him/her to pray for me. I ask him/her to intercede for me. All the ways that I plead with the Blessed Virgin, I do that with my guardian angel.
And I ask for his advice (again, like Mary). I ask for patience. I ask for him to pray for me when I can’t pray, when I don’t know how to pray, when I don’t know what to ask for.
And it works.